The original title of this blog was suppose to be “Why Mr. America Should Have Starred in No Holds Barred.” It wasn’t my wittiest blog title, but it allowed me to jump right into the subject matter instead of transitioning from a rant about how the readers need to demand local promotions (from Minneapolis/St. Paul to Paducah, from St. Louis (Illinois Side to Cleveland) to start booking me because that’s the only thing which will motivate me to hit the gym and get into better shape.
I’ve never liked salad, and I’m not going to start. There have to be better vegetable options that aren’t starchy. If it can be freeze-dried, it isn’t that good for you. Perhaps I am too self conscious. No one should judge me for throwing a tray of Annie Chun Seafood Snacks over half my plate to balance it. After 12-years around the wrestling business, I’ve observed initials are never bad, thus MSG has to be good.
Sorry for the minimal rant, but it could have been a lot worse, like three story-line terminations bad. Eric Rowan isn’t established enough to be taken off TV and now Ryback’s push won’t end with him doing the favor for Alexander Rusev.
With an inability to know who to protect and who to direct towards Japan to understand true strong-style, it’s no wonder that they cannot build there next superstar. Maybe it’s because they’re out to create the next super hero for the kids. Why else would they keep Roman Reigns in a SWAT team outfit instead of wrestling gear? If John Cena cannot be sold to the yuppie guppies in tights, why make their other guys wear them? And why must WWE make it apparent that Dean Ambrose has peaked? Did Vince McMahon want to tease the IWC by not letting him return to Lycra?
If Daniel Bryan wasn’t childlike compared to the present and future franchises, would the under TV-14 have gotten behind the “Yes” movement? Of course, I maybe discounting the beard.
And “No Holds Barred” could have gotten the PG if you had a masked crusader who wasn’t as brooding as Michael Keaton was in 1989. You might still need to cut the attempted rape scene, or not, because limiting them to attempted rapes are what super heroes do. And I’d suggest cutting the visual of dookie from the limo driver. Then again, CM Punk craps himself on Smackdown, and the show still got the TV-PG.
You can argue that Marvel would have brought up a lawsuit then, but I thing they would have appreciated “No Holds Barred” taking the attention away from their wretched, soon to be released, “Captain America” film. Hell, they would have probably wrote him in as a heavy for Red Skull for the first Chris Evans flick..
“Captain America 90:” a film which I need to watch because the disdain cannot be as great as legend claims. “Cyborg” wasn’t as bad as everyone claimed and every wrestling fan (with Netflix streaming) should see “Heatseeker” from the same director, Albert Pyun. I call dibs on penning the remake of that classic, provided the success of my pro-wrestling zom-com, “Main Event of the Dead” (e-mail russthebus07@gmail.com for ideas on how to promote the project or for screenplay treatments [so you’ll know what you’ll be promoting]).
A problem with “No Holds Barred” is that Hulk Hogan is playing Hulk Hogan. There is no disconnect between him and his character. If anything, the Uber-Brother has been neutered. Which may explain why Joan Severance couldn’t seduce him in the script. If Hogan had played a super hero, it would allow his in ring character to have range that Rip did not. I’m not up for an argument about Hogan’s range as a performer, so “Main Event of the Dead” inquiries only when it comes to the above e-mail.
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