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Sunday, June 16, 2019

Road House of the Dead: A Call for More Zombies and More Women in Wrestling

I am surprised by my state of mind going into this blog. There was so much real world stuff going on, it kept me out of my head. This is interesting because I have been in touch with my inner Ambrose (a bit of Bierce, a little bit Dean), having the feeling I am one of the few good people in a world of bad ones.

WWE should play on this and make Dean Ambrose an editorialist in the vein of Jim Cornette. This will make sure I keep watching "Raw" on Hulu. Advertise that it will run after the "Total Divas" match, and satisfy the bitter indie guys who want to see another job filled that the Louisville Slugger wants us to remember was his. If that is too much for Ambrose, there's always Colt Cabana. Okay, Scotty Goldman. Jim Cornette's pre-WWE stories are amusing enough, I do not want to bury him that much.

If fantasy booking makes sense, should it be fantasy? From "Main Event of the Dead: The Podcast," this may be the case, if you pull up my college transcripts. In my defense, the transcripts do make sense. I failed logic, hence I failed calculus, and in turn, failed data structures. If you're not going to give me any feedback on how to make "Main Event of the Dead Project" more than a screenplay about socially-insensitive zombies versus $20< wrestling talent, maybe you can offer me some leads on programming jobs that just need the software to work, not optimized. As long as there are companies still using Windows XP, this must be an actual programming standard.

After listening to Kevin Smith and Scott Mosier's "Road House" commentary track, I know that they could use a wrestling podcast. Because failing to mention Terry Funk until the finale, and suggest his career peaked at defeating Norman Smiley for the WCW Hardcore Championship is absurd. If the Nerdist has his wrestling nerd, Smodcast needs the ideal one, "Main Event of the Dead."

Do you not hate it when your hilarious tangents seem to trump the initial message? I curse seeing Jimmy Pardo last night in preventing me from going on about: How many Facebook friends do I still need to unfollow for their "I came from the middle class, so I'm better than you attitude?" Thank the gods they come from a town where all there is to do is drink, so they can't become CM Pop Punks. On the flip side, if they sober up they maybe able to see the plight of making less that $10.10 per hour. At least philosophy wise, I may have company until I pop the cap off a Strongbow. Winning never seems to be in the cards (why I play craps and roulette) but at least I keep my wrestling cred with my cider choice.

I shouldn't complain too much of how busy the "grown up" world makes me feel. When you seem to have had fun, why bitch about it? Because the girl you took out the previous night, whom you been chatting with daily is now giving you the silent treatment the following day--I mean the inevitability that, "Nobody loves me, nobody cares, and when I die, there won't be nobody there...Fuck the world I will deny you." Or complain about lesser wrestling fans with podcast.

Actually, all I can complain about the "Wrestling Compadres Slamcast" was there continual use of their sound board. They had some great guests, but it didn't feel like they talked much about commercial wrestling. Granted, this week sounded like aside from The Rock and Ambrose, their was not much that was missed.

I would like to note that I think the Russian flag stunt backlash maybe legit, or at least should be. Russian-Americans didn't care about desecration of the Soviet flag because they left the Russia that "advised" them to be Soviets. Now that their culture is restored and acting like the Republican Party, you cannot pee on a culture we may not understand...or want to obliterate (Randy the Ram and Hulk Hogan were cooler than Captain Insano anyhow). And I think WWE's reaction, no matter how much seriousness it lacks, may be legit since they cut the incident out from the Hulu broadcast of Raw.

Okay, you can call bullshit since I believe "Survivor Series 1997" was a work. As I learned from Danny Daniels, everything in wrestling is a lie, what hurts us, what we say, what we get paid.

Still. I think we only cheer on political incorrectness because it is a pain in the ass to care about people's legitimate sensitivities (political views aren't if my right wing readers wanna bitch about me). That is why we have stereotypes. I am hoping The Big Show gets the potatoes he was asking for. Or would Rusev and Lana call them beats?

As for "Cheap Heat," they, Peter Rosenberg, just seemed to want the put the podcast in the can. They did choose to address the concept of inter-gender wrestling, and said if it was someone with a Chyna like presence. Rosenberg also said that mascot wrestling was as good as Cruiserweight and Diva matches. And this guy claims to be catching up on the Monday Night Wars.

He may have meant it to insult the current WWE product. I'll have to refer to his media expertise if he is approaching the poor quality in that fashion, but to me it seems he doesn't understand storytelling when Daniel Bryan defeats three (what MMA would call) super heavyweight in one night. If your Divas can't compete with Paige, Natalia, and A.J. Lee, and you will not pull up the NXT girls, put them with guys who can showcase their talents.

Like All American Wrestling does.

AAW's Jawbreaker is Friday night in Berwyn, Illinois. It opens Shimmer Weekend, something that I think deserves a little more attention than Reality of Wrestling @WreslingBuds (unless the cost for coverage is losing Stevie Ray...and to RAW's credit they did a lot for Breast Cancer Awareness this month) because it is the premier showcase of what women can do. AAW will cover the inter-gender matches to make sure all of what women have to offer is represented.

Also, this is my last chance to post my review of their previous show Defining Moment.

Heidi Lovelace versus Davey Vega:

Heidi Lovelace needs to work on her shine move set in inter-gender matches. The beauty of her bout with Matt Cage was that Cage never allowed her to wrestle like a heavyweight. Unless a woman is a submission expert, I think against any kind of man, they have to wrestle a cruiserweight style.

She should never try to lock up with a man to get to chain wrestling, and she cannot directly whip any man off the ropes. To her credit, I did not fully understand the latter until I listened to the Steve Austin Unleashed Podcast with Sean "X-PAC" Waltman only a couple of hours prior.

Ray Rice chants. Admire the composure of Davey Vega to go with them, but I would have had a better response to the crowd. Like paraphrasing a Paul George's "tripping" tweet.

Johnny Gargano versus Tomasa Ciampa:

Johnny Gargano was brought in the previous month as a "replacement," so one would assume he is not suppose to be a full-timer. To place him against ROH's Tomasa Ciampa suggests that this was an attraction instead of building the reputation of the full-time AAW stars.

Maybe the websites out of date. Since Gargano kicked out of Project Ciampa, this is likely the case.

Like Gargano's last match, Phil Colvin's commentary was taking more shots at Jim Ross than Vince McMahon would through a head set. Most were totally out of place except, "who is the heel?" It only makes sense because JR may not be familiar with the early Ring of Honor concept of wrestling as a sport. Personal issues are not necessary, it's about showcasing talent, and then selecting the best talent from showcases to write personal issues around. So, JR inevitably wins.

Shane Hollister versus Eddie Kingston:

The show ended with further worries that AAW booking maybe short sighted with Shane Hollister failing to retain the Heavyweight Championship to former Chikara Champion Eddie Kingston. Kingston had dedicated a lot of time to the promotion, but Hollister's reign was only interrupted by a one-month Kevin Steen reign. Hollister is more likely to stay with the promotion longer, so it seems inevitable the belt will return to him. Unless the end game is Matt Cage as champion, who a top title reign may place him in a position to head to a Gabe Sapolsky brainchild.

Since Matt Cage is going up against former TNA Heavyweight Champion, it is more likely that he'll beat Hollister to the belt. Unless there is a Cage face turn, which history shows, tends to happen after you fight for gender inequality.

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