Heidi Lovelace vs. Matt Cage 3--and a Podcast Pitch

I definitely need some feedback on this idea. Send it to russthebus07@gmail.com, @MainEventZombie, or just post a comment (I'm sure you have some kind of Google account). The idea is starting a wrestling podcast with an even nerdier take on pro-wrestling than the not quite "smart" enough (@RosenbergRadio is holding back @AKATheMaskedMan) "Cheap Heat" podcast. My goal would be to try to eventually get picked up by Nerdist (if you don't want me to bug you Hardwick, give me another chance at "Tag Team Thursday" [for alliteration, may be it should be "Tag Team Tuesday"] or stop seeming so accessible on the podcast), or maybe get in on the Grantland turf.

My nerdy gimmick to podcast is to perform a table read of a non-wrestling scene from my screenplay, going for the Cut Scene feel from the NES "Ninja Gaiden" series, after the first promotional break. I guess I'd be trying to top Colt Cabana's "Song of the Week" and trying to encourage more of his "65-year old Jewish Mother Recites a Classic Wrestling Promo" segments.

If Quentin Tarantino is still making "The Hateful Eight" after having a public table read of the script, my concept of broadcasting my story along side a more insightful view on wrestling might be the method to get "Main Event of the Dead" to a big screen. After saying that, I might need to throw in some N-Words to hedge my bet. 

Talking about wrestling, I was able to work up the nerve to conquer my anxiety to maintain my commitment to checking out "All Hail," All American Wrestling's poorly named show last night in Berwyn, Illinois (Western Chicago Suburbs). It was a pretty solid card with only subtle things to complain about. So if you're not subscribing to the WWE Network to catch up on your NWA/WCW matches and get WWE Shop promo codes during the "Raw PreShow," save the rest of your money and check out AAW instead of going to a bar with overpriced drinks to view a Pay-Per-View centering around a desperate women's feud between a wannabe fitness model and a wannabe wrestler.

I know that Brie and Nikki have been improving as performers (maybe wrestling talent is a sexually transmitted disease), but I won't call the Bella Twin wrestlers after their alleged treatment of Maria Kanellis and looking like vacant socialites during AJ Lee's Pipebomb Shell. If they're serious about wrestling, they'd let the promo put over the need for improvement in their division instead of whining and doing a "We can't hear you dance."

Sometimes, probably most times, I hate points when there are logical segues. They seem to be there to prevent me from going on rants about the spinebuster replacing the DDT as a transition move or how indie guys really despise Jim Ross's opinions.

Perhaps Dragon Gate and Ring of Honor fans have no endurance, so after the first pop, their wad has been blown and they fail to realize that the bigger pop is suppose to be after the finish. In defense of the match between Shane Hollister, Ethan Page, and Johnny Gargano, where the commentators went on their anti- "Ross Report" tangent, I don't know how in a cruiser-weight/X-Division style match you can actually slow it down.

Perhaps this is why I need my own podcast. Conversations aren't linear, so you can get side tracked and not risk distracting the audience from the point. The need for babyface short cuts must be addressed at some point, but it wasn't in the AAW main event.

The segue that I decided to waste was about how Heidi Lovelace and Matt Cage demonstrated how, in Lovelace's words, "You don't need balls to be a champion." My only issue with this inter-gender match (a side from Ray Rice's suspension still being a hot topic [wrong night to where Baltimore Ravens colors]) was that I believe it was supposed to be the blow off the feud. My belief is based on this being the third match between the two in their feud. The way the trilogy ended may suggest that you need testicles for a successful conclusion.

The two had a great match, and Lovelace demonstrated that if we are to believe in Rey Mysterio as a three-time world heavyweight champion, we should believe that Sara del Rey, Cheerleader Melissa, MsChif and Paige (a generation from a Shimmer Championship) can become the World Wrestling Entertainment World Heavyweight Champion. My issue is that I wasn't satisfied with Lovelace winning with a roll up (it didn't seem impactful enough to be a crucifix bomb).

Paige should be the face of the WWE. Imagine the ratings that the female demographics would bring to a promotions that marks are claiming is in dire financial straits. If only I had a good "Money for Nothing" play on words to place here. The best thing about this concept is they ladies will have someone else to cheer for instead of John Cena.

Unless the two combatants are being booked for a fourth match, her championship victory is just a fluke. What reason are we to believe she can repeat this feat again? This could have just been the law of averages proving evident.

This match needed to end with Heidi Lovelace proving she was unquestionably the better combatant. It is like the end of "Star Wars: Return of the Jedi" when Luke Skywalker freaks out and beats the hell out of Darth Vader. Luke was defeated once, is emotionally wrecked, but overcomes to be the last Jedi standing. This was repeated in the end of the prequel trilogy with Anakin vs Dooku, but who cared about little orphan Anni.

In Jean-Claude Van Damme films, the final fight (in my favorite films) are three act plays. He shows off his skills, the antagonist shows that he is craftier to virtually defeat our hero, Van Damme miraculously comes back and leaves no doubt that the villain cannot win.

My best feminine equivalent, that comes to immediate mind, is a low-budget film called "Fight Night (originally titled Rigged)" about a conniving manager and female fighter climbing the ranks of the underground prizefighting circuits. I don't want to spoil it, but it follows the formula I wanted to see used. If you want mainstream/nerdy, see the "Underworld" sequels.

In the match from August 15, Lovelace is beaten to a cinematic level of physical despair. She is always able to show that she is not finished, but it was constant heat. It may be considered realistic that her every comeback is thwarted by separation of the two opponents after her comeback. Cage's beating was so severe that she could never recover quicker than him, regardless of who scored the last move.

To conclude, this match was very realistic. Especially when indie fans start lending War Machine chants to Cage. I praise Cage for maintaining a heel role with the sickest chant I've heard at a show. For someone who never saw this pair face of, the finish to this match must be assumed as real as it could be.

But again, this was the end of a trilogy. A trilogy where a crowd is so into the action that they compare the heel to one of the most despicable men in the public light at this moment. I hated Cage in this match for what he was doing, and I wanted to see him broken. Not whining about the inconceivable, but broken, leaving the ring with a referee under his shoulder to support him.

Perhaps I should be further praising Matt Cage for his performance. Since pro-wrestling is dependent on having a good dance partner, Money could have made the protagonist look like a million bucks, but it was evident that Heidi Lovelace provided the best performance as a baby face who needed to tell a story that night.

It may just be the writer in me who just can't get over the story structure, but again I wasn't there for Cage/Lovelace 1 or 2. I just know this could have been the most dramatic trilogy I could have witnessed a part of if creative would have just followed the movies. Then again, if you watch WWE, that may just be considered the wrong approach since Vince has failed trying that at least 90% of the time.